I’m Free 🦅 : Reflections on Leaving the Military

For those who know me, you know my time in the military was incredibly challenging. Despite achieving early milestones of becoming a trainer within a month at my first duty station, winning USO Guardian of the Year, earning early promotion, and being selected for a deployment, my leaders often only saw me as someone struggling with mental health, “getting in the way of the mission.”

This past year taught me a hard truth: not everyone will see you as a person. Some will see you only as a machine meant to serve their goals. Because of this, the United States Space Force lost an incredibly intelligent and creative Guardian.

I had access to mental health counseling, but when I failed to check in, I was written up instead of being supported. When I reached my breaking point, I wasn’t told that I mattered; I was told that my clearance was at risk. Those details, however, no longer hold power over me. Today, I am a veteran.

Today, I am free from the control of leaders who never truly saw me. Today, I can celebrate my accomplishments and know that I never gave up, even when, at times, I desperately wanted to.

I will never forget the ways I showed up for myself: the kindness I maintained even when leaders tried to break me down, the work I put in while struggling continuously, and the strength it took to keep going when everything inside me wanted to give up.

I am endlessly grateful to the amazing women who stood by me throughout this journey. My love and trust in you cannot be expressed in words. Thank you for making me laugh when I didn’t think I could, for holding space for every tear, and for standing strong in a system that doesn’t always protect us. You were my sanity, my safe place, my sisters. I will love you forever.

And to my husband, thank you for sticking with me through it all. For loving me when I couldn’t love myself, for believing in me when I didn’t believe in me, and for being the safest person in my life. You have been my anchor, my support, and my home.

Today, I am a veteran.